I don't wanna be alone on a heavy rainy night

[when the comm comes on, its to the sound of a very tired sigh. There's something just... rambling in the background, in a very high pitched, Valley-girl voice.

Apparently this has been going on for a while now.]

-- so then I said, you know what I said? I was totally like, "Bobby, you just need to get in there and like, totally do your job." And you know what he does?! That jerk, he just goes off and tells me I'm like, never doin' my job, 'cause I talk too much! I talk too much! Can you like believe that? Me! Not doin' my job! Like, whatev, man. Whatev.

What, exactly, is your job again?

Oh, like! I'm here to make you make all nice with that yummy boytoy of yours!

... Come again?

That cutie you're always with.

You mean my boyfriend? Hatter?

Yeah! Him! ... like, what kinda name is Hatter anyway? Sounds like a weird name. Why doesn't he have a normal name?

[loooong suffering sigh from poor Alice.]

No, seriously! Go kiss him! You know you want to.

I have kissed him. I kissed him this morning. I'll probably do it again later. I already said, he's my boyfriend. Couples do that and don't need a talking plant to tell them to.

Oh. [loooooong silence] Ya done like, anything else?

AUGH! [Alice's hands slam down on the table loud enough to rattle whatever is on it.]

Wh-- HEY! LIKE, HOLD ON JUST A SECOND HERE! LET GO OF ME! LIKE, THIS IS SO UNFAAAAIR!

[click]